Quarrelling with the Heart
On reproaching one's own heart for going back to the person who caused the pain.
The heart is a second person here, and the party in the wrong — prosecuted rather than consulted, dropped as an addressee partway through, and at 1298 arguing a case of its own. She sets evidence before it and asks it to account for itself; the word she uses of herself in 1291, எமக்கு, is the one that leaves the one addressed outside it. The heart is not with her as she speaks to it.
1291 begins with what she has seen: his heart holds to him and does not turn her way. Parimelazhagar keeps it a finished observation, and has the couplet ask for a reason, not an apology — then what is your reason for not being ours? 1292 brings the heart's own reason into the open and shows how thin it is: she knows he holds no love for her, and the heart goes all the same, on the single ground that he will not be angry. 1293 offers two explanations and makes it say which. You follow him as you please — is that the common saying, that the ruined are left with no friends, or is it simply what you are? Neither is answered.
1294 is the last verse spoken to the heart, and its complaint is procedural. Displeasure was to come first, measured against his fault, and pleasure after it; the heart takes the pleasure the moment it sees him. She withdraws from the partnership — who will plan anything with you hereafter — and Parimelazhagar has her answer for herself: I shall not. Pope adds an instruction, "I bade"; in Parimelazhagar the arrangement is what the heart should have known, not an order given it.
From 1295 the second person is gone: she speaks about the heart, not to it. 1295 shuts it between two fears: without him it fears never getting him, with him it fears the parting to come, and since one of the two always holds, Parimelazhagar concludes the distress never breaks off. 1296 answers a question nobody asked aloud — what has my heart stayed here for — with the chapter's hardest image: to eat her while she sits apart and turns it over. 1297 names the price: joined to a heart of no worth that will not forget the man who forgot her, she has let go of the modesty she held dearer than life.
1298 is the first verse where the heart has a case. Scorn him back, it reasons, and the lowering falls on us; so it dwells on him instead. Pope makes the object of that dwelling his virtues, and Aiyar calls the heart "partial to him"; Parimelazhagar leaves it at அவர் திறம், which bears his merits or simply everything to do with him.
The last two verses drop the quarrel and speak of anyone. 1299 asks who can be an ally in trouble if a person's own heart will not. Aiyar makes it the beloved's heart refusing help to a man; the Tamil தாம் உடைய, one's own, will not carry that. 1300 declines to argue: when the heart that is ours is not ours, that outsiders are no kin hardly needs saying. A chapter that opened by demanding a reason ends where none is required.
AI draft · pending review
Synthetic voices · Tamil couplet and V.V.S. Aiyar 1916
10 of 10 narratives drafted · all Tamil, Pope & Parimelazhagar sourced
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Synthetic voices · Tamil couplet and V.V.S. Aiyar 1916
📖 அதிகார விளக்கம் · About Chapter ▼
On reproaching one's own heart for going back to the person who caused the pain.
The heart is a second person here, and the party in the wrong — prosecuted rather than consulted, dropped as an addressee partway through, and at 1298 arguing a case of its own. She sets evidence before it and asks it to account for itself; the word she uses of herself in 1291, எமக்கு, is the one that leaves the one addressed outside it. The heart is not with her as she speaks to it.
1291 begins with what she has seen: his heart holds to him and does not turn her way. Parimelazhagar keeps it a finished observation, and has the couplet ask for a reason, not an apology — then what is your reason for not being ours? 1292 brings the heart's own reason into the open and shows how thin it is: she knows he holds no love for her, and the heart goes all the same, on the single ground that he will not be angry. 1293 offers two explanations and makes it say which. You follow him as you please — is that the common saying, that the ruined are left with no friends, or is it simply what you are? Neither is answered.
1294 is the last verse spoken to the heart, and its complaint is procedural. Displeasure was to come first, measured against his fault, and pleasure after it; the heart takes the pleasure the moment it sees him. She withdraws from the partnership — who will plan anything with you hereafter — and Parimelazhagar has her answer for herself: I shall not. Pope adds an instruction, "I bade"; in Parimelazhagar the arrangement is what the heart should have known, not an order given it.
From 1295 the second person is gone: she speaks about the heart, not to it. 1295 shuts it between two fears: without him it fears never getting him, with him it fears the parting to come, and since one of the two always holds, Parimelazhagar concludes the distress never breaks off. 1296 answers a question nobody asked aloud — what has my heart stayed here for — with the chapter's hardest image: to eat her while she sits apart and turns it over. 1297 names the price: joined to a heart of no worth that will not forget the man who forgot her, she has let go of the modesty she held dearer than life.
1298 is the first verse where the heart has a case. Scorn him back, it reasons, and the lowering falls on us; so it dwells on him instead. Pope makes the object of that dwelling his virtues, and Aiyar calls the heart "partial to him"; Parimelazhagar leaves it at அவர் திறம், which bears his merits or simply everything to do with him.
The last two verses drop the quarrel and speak of anyone. 1299 asks who can be an ally in trouble if a person's own heart will not. Aiyar makes it the beloved's heart refusing help to a man; the Tamil தாம் உடைய, one's own, will not carry that. 1300 declines to argue: when the heart that is ours is not ours, that outsiders are no kin hardly needs saying. A chapter that opened by demanding a reason ends where none is required.
AI draft · pending review
அவர்நெஞ்சு அவர்க்காதல் கண்டும் எவன்நெஞ்சே
நீஎமக்கு ஆகா தது
என் நெஞ்சே, காதலரின் மனம் நம்மை நினையாமல் அவருக்கே துணையாக நிற்பதை நன்றாகக் கண்டும், நீ மட்டும் எனக்குத் துணையாக நிற்காமல் அவரிடமே செல்வதற்குக் காரணம் என்ன?
His heart, you have seen, belongs to him alone. Then what is your reason, my heart, for not belonging to me?AI draft
உறாஅ தவர்க்கண்ட கண்ணும் அவரைச்
செறாஅரெனச் சேறியென் நெஞ்சு
என் நெஞ்சே, நம்மிடம் அன்பு இல்லாதவர் என்று அவரை உணர்ந்த பின்பும், நாம் போனால் கோபப்பட மாட்டார் என்று எண்ணி நீ அவரிடமே ஓடுகிறாய்; இதைவிடப் பெரிய மடமை உலகில் வேறு உண்டோ?
You have seen for yourself that he is one who does not draw near. And still, my heart, you go to him, on the sole ground that he will not be harsh.AI draft
கெட்டார்க்கு நட்டார்இல் என்பதோ நெஞ்சேநீ
பெட்டாங்கு அவர்பின் செலல்
நெஞ்சே, என்னிடம் நிற்காமல் உன் விருப்பப்படி காதலரின் பின்னால் செல்வதற்குக் காரணம், வறுமையுற்றுக் கெட்டவர்க்கு நண்பர் எவரும் இல்லை என்ற உலக வழக்கைக் கருதியோ?
You will not stay with me; you go after him exactly as you please. Is that because you hold that the ruined have no friends, my heart — or is it simply what you are?AI draft
இனிஅன்ன நின்னொடு சூழ்வார்யார் நெஞ்சே
துனிசெய்து துவ்வாய்காண் மற்று
நெஞ்சே, காதலரைக் கண்டவுடனே கூட நினைக்கிறாயே தவிர, அவர் செய்த தவற்றை எண்ணி அவரோடு ஊடிப் பிறகு கூட நினைக்கவில்லை; இனி இது போன்றவற்றை உன்னோடு கலந்து ஆலோசிப்பவர் யார்? நான் அதைச் செய்ய மாட்டேன்.
You will not show your displeasure first and take your pleasure afterwards; the moment you see him you want only the pleasure. Who is going to plan anything with you after this, my heart?AI draft
பெறாஅமை அஞ்சும் பெறின்பிரிவு அஞ்சும்
அறாஅ இடும்பைத்தென் நெஞ்சு
என் நெஞ்சம் காதலரைப் பெறாத காலத்தில் அவரை அடைய முடியவில்லையே என்று அஞ்சுகிறது; பெற்ற காலத்திலோ அவர் பிரியக்கூடும் என்று அஞ்சுகிறது; இதனால் என் நெஞ்சம் என்றும் நீங்காத துன்பத்தை உடையதாகிறது.
When it does not have him it is afraid of never having him; when it has him it is afraid of the parting to come. My heart holds a distress that never breaks off.AI draft
தனியே இருந்து நினைத்தக்கால் என்னைத்
தினிய இருந்ததென் நெஞ்சு
காதலரைப் பிரிந்து தனியாக இருந்து அவர் செய்த கொடுமைகளை நான் நினைக்கும்போது, என் நெஞ்சம் என்னை உள்ளிருந்தே அரித்துத் தின்பது போலத் துன்புறுத்துவதற்காகவே என்னோடு தங்கியிருக்கிறது.
What is my heart here for? Only to eat me, when I sit apart from him and turn it over.AI draft
நாணும் மறந்தேன் அவர்மறக் கல்லாஎன்
மாணா மடநெஞ்சிற் பட்டு
தன்னை மறந்துவிட்ட காதலரைத் தான் மறக்க முடியாத என் அறிவற்ற மடநெஞ்சோடு கூடி நின்றதால், என் உயிரினும் மேலான நாணத்தையும் நான் மறந்துவிட்டேன்.
I have forgotten even my own self-respect, caught in this worthless and witless heart of mine that will not forget the man who forgot me.AI draft
எள்ளின் இளிவாம்என்று எண்ணி அவர்திறம்
உள்ளும் உயிர்க்காதல் நெஞ்சு
உயிர் மீது ஆசை கொண்ட என் நெஞ்சமானது, நம்மை இகழ்ந்து சென்ற அவரை நாமும் இகழ்ந்தால் நமக்குத்தான் இழிவு வரும் என்று கருதி, எப்போதும் அவரது நற்குணங்களையே நினைத்துக்கொண்டிருக்கிறது.
My heart, which is in love with its own life, worked it out like this: if I scorn him for scorning me and going, the disgrace will end up mine. Having reasoned that far, it goes on dwelling on his good side instead.AI draft
துன்பத்திற்கு யாரே துணையாவார் தாமுடைய
நெஞ்சந் துணையல் வழி
ஒருவருக்குத் துன்பம் வரும்போது அதை நீக்குவதற்குத் தமக்கு உரிமையான தம் மனமே துணையாக நிற்காவிட்டால், வேறு யார் துணையாக நிற்க முடியும்?
When trouble has come, who is there who could be an ally against it, if the heart a person owns as their own is not an ally?AI draft
தஞ்சம் தமரல்லர் ஏதிலார் தாமுடைய
நெஞ்சம் தமரல் வழி
தமக்கு உரிமையான தம் மனமே தமக்கு உறவாக இல்லாதபோது, வெளியில் உள்ள அயலார் உறவாக இல்லாமல் போவது எளிதாகப் புரியக்கூடிய ஒன்றன்றோ?
It is a slight thing that outsiders are no kin of ours — when the heart that is ours to own is no kin of ours either.AI draft